How to be a mother in 4 words.

The transition into motherhood is widely documented at a very practical level: we hear of mothers feeling joyous, or at the least tired but elated. We learn of the practicalities of childbirth but what of the ‘birth’ of the mother? What is not widely spoken about is what is going on in your head, when it is dark and you are alone with your thoughts.

Becoming a mother offers a huge avenue of transition and change that many women are not equipped to cope with. 

Breathe. Listen. Trust. Love

Breathe. Listen. Trust. Love

You are offered classes on birth, bathing and breastfeeding but there are few opportunities to talk or learn about feeling isolated, feeling overwhelmed, not liking your partner much, or even not liking your baby.

New mamas put themselves under an enormous amount of pressure at the best of times and anything to do with our babies seems to bring out the very worst of our anxieties and concerns.  You will find times when you just have no idea. You will feel overwhelmed. You will feel the only one who feels like you do.  You will feel like crying. A lot.

You will feel you can’t do this. But you can and the answer how lies in just 4 words.

Breathe. Listen. Trust.  Love.

Breathe.

Take time to breathe; or to rest or to calm yourself. Whatever ‘breathing’ may look like for you, it is an opportunity to get out of the emotion and reconnect with your centre, your core, your heart and to be calm. Listen. It may not feel like it but you can do this. You can. You are the right person for your baby.  Allow yourself to listen to your heart and what feels right for you and them.

Listen.

They are the only ones who know the sound of your heart from the inside. They are of your heart. Listen to it.  Listen to them.  Trust yourself and them.  When you stop to breathe and to listen you will see they are showing you the way.

Trust.

Let go of your anxiety about your relationship and abilities and trust you are the right person for them. Trust the natural bond and the connection you have, it is there. You may not see it some days, but it is there. Let go of thinking you need to know.

Love.

well-person

Take Time for Yourself

Love them and love you. Even the days it seems impossible to do either.  When you’re a mama, you need to be ok. They can’t do this on their own, they need you. By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of them.  It is just the natural continuation of the self-care you started when you were pregnant. You ramp it up now though because the demands on you have multiplied and you need to replenish your energy levels as much as you can– so that you are ok and so that you are ok to care for your baby.

Being a mother actually looks a lot like time and presence.  Give time and be present whether for yourself or them. Mostly that is all they want and need anyway, nothing more.

Being a mother isn’t about doing it all right and knowing it all.  You will be doing what you can, when you can, most of the time.  And that’s ok.  You are in a relationship and just like any other, it is about exploring and learning and growing. It will be wonderful. It will be awful.  Your baby will be all your pain and all your joy, wrapped up in a sweet smelling smile.

And when you just want the answers and you don’t know how to breathe and you’ve forgotten how to listen and you’ve lost all your trust and the love you feel is too painful, pick them up and hold them close.

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This blog is proudly part of the New Mama Welcome Pack Blog Hop, supporting new mamas in their journey of motherhood. Want to really make that a fab journey? Please take a look at the blogs below full of wonderful sentiment, stories and love but more importantly, click on the New Mama Welcome Pack banner below (affiliate link) and see how to receive your pack today….

Being a first-time mama is an amazing experience. The New Mama Welcome Pack blog hop is a celebration of this life changing event! Follow the links to discover more unmissable advice, stories and essential tips. And if you’re a new mama who wants to rock motherhood without guilt, overwhelm or losing yourself, check out the New Mama Welcome Pack here.

New Mama Welcome Pack / Lotte Lane / Dreaming Aloud / Zhendria / Birthing in Conscious Choice / Natalie Garay / Eli Trier / Knecht Ruprecht / Lise Meijer / Naomi Goodlet / A Lifestyle By Design / Story of Mum / Like a Bird / Holistic Mama / Birth Geek / Joyful Parenting / Stroller Packing / My Healthy Beginning / Mums and More / Kate Beddow – Growing Spirits / Ellen Nightingale / Stacie Whitney / Maternity Leavers / Photography for Busy Parents / Close Enough To Kiss / Atelier Susana Tavares / Offbeat Family / Katie m. Berggren ~ Painting Motherhood / Winship Wellness Blog / Liberate From Weight / Jessica Cary / Art + Craft / Raising Playful Tots / Peaceful Mothering / Play Activities / Lauren Nenna / Nurture You / The Adventure Mama / Be Wise Be Healthy / b.a.d.momGoodmom / Doula in Your Pocket / Making Mom Strong / Adrienn Csoknyay / Joyful Parents / Alison Hummel / Simple Solutions for Photos / Lynne Newman / Euphoric Birth / Mumpreneur Mentor / A Walk in the Clouds / Parenting on the Fence / MiaMily

8 Responses to “How to be a mother in 4 words.”

  1. This is wonderful Kirsten, and exactly what I needed to hear as a new mama. It chimes so perfectly with what I have shared in my blog hop post too! Thank you for this reminder – breathe, listen, trust, love are exactly what I still need to be reminded of now… x

  2. Such beautiful simplicity in this message that is relevant for all mothers, not just new ones. Thank you for this. xxx

    • Thank you for your thoughts, Olga. When we give ourselves the chance to think about it, mothering is very simple in its core. Somewhere along the line between guilt, sleep deprivation and expectations, it gets very complicated! I try to remember the simplicity as often as I can x

  3. Thanks for your thoughts Pippa, we are on the same page again! It is a shame, for ourselves, the wisdom comes from hindsight! My new mama days may have been much more enjoyable otherwise. Perhaps then that was always my path- to have the experiences I did in order to help others by sharing, like this blog hop, as much as I can. I am glad you connected today with these four little but powerful words x

  4. LOVE it! I really think mothering is the most challenging spiritual journey.. So much can be discovered, awakened, and soothed by mindfulness. <3

    • Thank you Krystal. It certainly is challenging in so many ways and dimensions! Just stopping can be so effective and yet one of those many things which can unfortunately be shuffled to the bottom of the ‘to do’ list. It is a practice in process much of the time (for me anyway!) x

  5. 4 simple words that go deep and mean so much. Beautiful. x

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